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Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partner Sex Interview
(06/28/2005) by Kathleen VanKirk
On a warm summer day in New York City, Dr. Kat sat down with sexuality legend Betty Dodson to discuss her latest book, Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partner Sex .
Dr. Kat:
In comparison to your previous works on masturbation and pleasing one's self, this book exposes the nuances of sex with partner. Specifically, you also address the issue of monogamy. What does Orgasms for Two say about monogamy in the United States?
Betty Dodson:
I think we have psuedo monogamy. Everyone proclaims and vows to be monogamous, and they think they're going to do it. But I would say that after a couple has been together after a certain number of years, that one or both partners will have some other sexual affair -- or at least be tempted to do it. And I really don’t think that we should torture ourselves over that.
Dr. Kat:
Interestingly, the book mentions that even secret affairs can improve a couple’s relationship. Expand on that...
Betty Dodson:
I like the way the French do it – they get married, and have they’re husbands and wives and children…families and then their lovers on the side.
Dr. Kat:
For instance having a primary relationship and then other relationships on the side that are based more on sex than on building a home life together?
Betty Dodson:
Yes, if you can think of it in those terms. Marriage is a business, no matter how you look at it. It’s two people who are going into business together. They are going to run a house and probably have a family. We don’t treat it with too much respect. It’s like Ah,
you fall in love an get married, blah, blah, blah. Live happily ever after and that's it. No one really acknowledges the person they just dedicated their whole lives to may not fulfill the fact that they may have other sexual or emotional needs that.
Dr. Kat:
What about the myth of foreplay?
Betty Dodson:
Well, foreplay is rarely enough to fully arouse a woman. And once he finally moves to clitoral stimulation, as soon as she's wet, he usually switches to the vaginal penetration as soon as possible. While she spends the whole time trying to get him back to the clitoris. If the clitoris is the easiest way to orgasm why is its stimulation so often treated like an appetizer? We shouldn't be calling "foreplay" anyway -- sexplay would be more accurate. Sexplay can happen before, during, and after penetration.
Copyright: www.Libida.com and Dr. Kathleen Van Kirk
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