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The Sexual Healing Journey
(04/20/2006) by Unknown
An interview with Wendy Maltz M.S.W., one of our Sexual Health Network experts and author of The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse (HarperCollins/Quill, $14.00):
Is it true that a large percentage of people in the United States have been sexually abused?
Yes. According to numerous studies, approximately one in three women and one in five men were sexually abused in childhood. This means that tens of millions of couples have at least one partner with a sexual abuse history.
How does sexual abuse harm a person’s sexuality?
Sexual abuse can cause serious, often chronic problems with sex and intimacy. Many people who were sexually abused suffer distress for years, not realizing that their present-day sexual problems are common repercussions of sexual abuse and can be healed. In The Sexual Healing Journey, I provide a seven page “Sexual Effects Inventory” which helps survivors identify the specific ways past abuse may have influenced their sexuality. In addition, I present the following brief checklist of the top ten most common sexual symptoms of sexual abuse:
__ I avoid, fear, or lack interest in sex.
__ I approach sex as an obligation.
__ I experience negative feelings such as anger, digust, or guilt with touch.
__ I have difficulty becoming aroused or feeling sensation.
__ I feel emotionally distant or not present during sex.
__ I experience intrusive or disturbing sexual thoughts and images.
__ I engage in compulsive or inappropriate sexual behaviors.
__ I have difficulty establishing or maintaining an intimate relationship.
__ I experience vaginal pain or orgasmic difficulties.
__ I have erectile or ejaculatory difficulty.
Are sexual abuse survivors more likely to suffer sexual dysfunctions than people who weren’t ever sexually abused?
Yes. Sexual abuse is a leading cause of sexual functioning problems. A recent national study on sexual dysfunction in the U.S. found that victims of unwanted sexual contact exhibit much higher rates of sexual functioning problems. Women who were ever sexually forced are more than twice as likely to have arousal disorders, and male victims of adult-child contact are three times as likely to experience erectile dysfunction and twice as likely to experience premature ejaculation and low sexual desire.
What is sexual healing?
Sexual healing is an empowering process in which you reclaim your sexuality as both positive and pleasurable. In The Sexual Healing Journey , I provide specific healing strategies and techniques to help survivors change sexual attitudes and behaviors which resulted from past sexual abuse. The process of sexual healing often includes: gaining a deeper understanding of what happened and how it influenced sexuality, increasing body and self-awareness, stopping negative behaviors, developing a positive sense of sexuality, and learning new skills for experiencing touch and sexual sharing in safe, life-affirming ways.
How long does it take to heal sexual problems caused by abuse?
Sexual healing can take several months to several years, or more, to accomplish. It is considered advanced recovery work, and thus best undertaken after a survivor is in a stable and safe lifestyle and has addressed more general effects of sexual abuse, such as depression, anger, self-blame, and trust concerns.
There are different levels of sexual healing work that a survivor can pursue, from simply reading about recovery to engaging in a series of progressive exercises, called “relearning touch techniques.” These exercises provide opportunities to practice a new approach to intimate touch. While some survivors are able to progress in sexual healing on their own (by reading the book and following the recommendations), others find it essential to enlist the guidance and support of a trained mental health practioner. Professional help is often recommended because sexual healing can easily stir up traumatic memories and feelings.
Do you need to have a partner to sexually heal?
No. You don’t need to be in a relationship to do sexual healing work. Anyone can learn about sexual healing and do the self-discovery exercises described in the book. Even some of the “relearning touch” exercises are designed for single survivors. When a survivor has an intimate partner, the partner needs to become educated about the sexual repercussions of abuse and learn strategies for participating actively and effectively in the healing process.
Is sexual healing worth all the time and effort?
Definitely. Our sexuality is such an important aspect of who we are in the world. When we feel good about our sexuality it radiates confidence in all aspects of our lives. By reclaiming our sexuality as healthy, we reclaim ourselves. In the final chapter of The Sexual Healing Journey, a survivor shares, “Sex is wonderful, exciting--a gift of the universe. Any of us would be foolish not to learn how to accept it, experience it, and appreciate it. . . I’ve been cheated from this gift most of my life, but I am changing that dynamic: I’ve taken control of my sexuality for myself.”
Wendy Maltz, MSW, is an internationally recognized author, therapist and expert on healthy sexuality and sexual recovery.This article appears in the following topics:
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