|
How To Choose a Sex Therapist
(05/04/2004) by Unknown
Perhaps your sex life isn’t what it used to be. Your wife only wants to make love once a month, and then it’s without enthusiasm. When you try to talk about it, she clams up or changes the subject. What to do?
Or maybe your boyfriend is having problems in bed. He starts making love, but before you know it he’s ejaculated, leaving both of you frustrated and dissatisfied. You don’t know what’s wrong and whenever you bring up the subject, it turns into a fight. Where can you turn?
Sex Over Forty has offered advice on situations like these over the years, often recommending the help of a sex therapist. But how do you find one? What are their qualifications? How can you be sure you need one? How long does therapy take and what does it cost?
Do You Need A Sex Therapist?
"People are ready for a sex therapist when they feel stuck, when they say, ‘I don’t know what else to do about this, I’ve tried everything,’" said Judith Seifer, PhD, RN, associate clinical professor in the departments of Psychiatry and Obstetrics and Gynecology at Wright State School of Medicine in Dayton, OH.
Seifer said that sex therapists treat many problems, including loss of desire, erectile dysfunction, inability to achieve orgasm, and sex problems associated with depression, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, injuries to the head or spinal cord, diseases like diabetes, and medication side effects.
Whatever the cause, if you and your partner are unhappy with your sex life and can’t make headway, sex therapy could be the answer.
Where To Begin Looking
Florida is the only state that requires licenses for sex therapists. Other states permit virtually anyone to practice as a sex therapist. Therefore, before responding to newspaper, magazine or Internet advertisements, it is wise to check out the therapist’s qualifications.
Seifer recommends getting referrals from your family physician, local medical school, AASECT (The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, P. O. Box 1960
Ashland, VA 23005-1960). If you send AASECT a stamped, self-addressed envelope, they will send you a list of AASECT-certified sex therapists in your geographical area.
AASECT is the largest certifying body in the United States for sex therapists. AASECT-certified therapists have graduate degrees, with one or two years’ post-graduate training in human sexuality, in addition to at least 100 hours of direct supervision by another certified therapist.
Sex therapists who have already demonstrated expertise in the field are also certified by the American Board of Sexology, which is currently in the process of developing a certification exam.
In his booklet, Understanding Your Referral to a Sex Therapist, Ohio sex therapist Robert W. Birch, PhD, defines a qualified sex therapist as "a professional who has a basic background in psychotherapy and is licensed or certified by the state as a psychologist, psychiatrist, marriage and family therapist, social worker, professional counselor or psychiatric nurse." He said that in addition they should have extensive training in human sexuality and experience in the treatment of sexual disorders and dysfunctions.
Getting Information
Once you have the names of a few qualified sex therapists in your area, you can telephone for a preliminary talk.
"Check out the therapist for yourself," advises Shirley Zussman, EdD, a New York sex therapist and co-editor of Sex Over Forty. Zussman suggests asking about the therapist’s training and experience, approximately how long therapy will take and what fees are involved.
"Be guided by the fact that an initial visit is not a commitment, and if anyone requires advance payments or wants to set up a schedule of advance appointments you should be very cautious," she said.
Seifer usually spends about 20 minutes on an initial phone call in order to learn about prospective clients and let them know about her.
"Sex therapy is talk therapy," she said. "You keep your clothes on; I keep my clothes on." Many people have wrong ideas about what goes on. Some have heard about sexual surrogates, people who may have sexual relations with patients as part of therapy, and want therapy for that reason, but only a small percentage of sex therapists recommend the use of paid surrogates. Some are especially wary because of the high number of cases of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.
Finally, it is important to choose a therapist with whom you feel comfortable. Patients must feel a sense of trust and confidence before treatment can succeed.
Length and Cost of Therapy
Sex therapy is relatively short-term, usually lasting one hour a week, for two to six months, depending on patients’ needs, goals, and diagnosis. When physical problems are involved, treatment by other health professionals may be included.
Sex therapy fees can range from about $50 to $200 per hour. It is best to inquire about this in the initial phone call.
Is it worth it? Seifer said, "Marriages can survive with lousy sex. Lots of them do." But if you want great sex and you’re willing to put in a little time and effort, chances are that sex therapy with a qualified therapist will help.
Reprinted from Vol. XVII, No. 11 (c) 1999 DKT International, Chapel Hill, North Carolina. All Rights Reserved. April, 1999
This article appears in the following topics:
|
