epublishing store: Intro

Sexual Health eBook Volume1
Chapter 5

Touch as the Primary Element of Sensual and Erotic Expression, Aline LaPierre

With some 6–10 million tactile sensors forming an intricate sensory network that covers our entire body, the sense of touch gives us an amazingly accurate mental picture of ourselves and our surroundings. It is through the responses of these millions of skin receptors that we delight in the tenderness of a caress. It is because of touch that we remember the feel of a loved one’s hand in ours, the curves of his or her body, the texture of his or her hair. It is through the sense of touch that our brain knows skin quality, body heat, pressure, friction, and weight—all essential components contributing to our enjoyment of the nonverbal world of sensual and erotic play.
Ashley Montagu wrote that touch is the primary element of sexual expression. For this reason, it is unfortunate that few of us receive insightful education in the art of touch. We learn anatomical facts about male and female bodies, but rarely are we given instruction in the “ how-to ” of touching the body for health and pleasure. In truth, many of us have not been touched in satisfying ways and may still be conditioned by belief systems that instill guilt, fear, or shame about touch, in particular when it comes to touching erogenous zones. The misuse of touch is reflected in the profound suffering caused by physical and sexual abuse and in the deep yearnings and disappointments that lack of loving touch leaves in the lives of many. Individuals who have been subjected to the traumatizing effects of touch violations or neglect frequently need reparative touch experiences to reclaim the lost spontaneity of their sensory responses. They may require guidance to learn how to give and receive touch that expresses connection to a loved one. For anyone interested in deepening the intimacy of their erotic involvement, the development and refinement of one’s ability to take in and receive, through touch, the subtleties of our partner’s body ought to be a primary objective.
This chapter addresses sensual and erotic touch experience from several perspectives. Building on the fascinating evolutionary development of touch and sexuality presented by Dr. Gorney in the previous chapter, we now move into the personal and intimate sensual and erotic dimension of our human relational experience. We first explore the neural basis of the sense of touch by reviewing the key tactile receptors in the skin, muscles, and deep tissues and their effect upon the brain. With these sensory principles in mind, we present touch exercises that address the development of palpation awareness. We then look at how the power of intention and the importance of focused attention help us enter the present moment of sexual relationship and fine-tune the psychological experience of touching a partner erotically. Finally, we explore the important aspect of using touch to nurture and heal the wounds that neglect and abuse leave in our lives. We end on an inspirational note with the description of healthy erotic touch exchange seen as a three-phase unfolding of attunement, resonance and integration.

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