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Question:
I am a 38 year old, white male, just starting a new relationship with a new partner for the past 2 months. She is incredible and sex is teriffic. Up until about last week (about 7 days now) I can not get an erection with her. I have failed like 3 times. Even when i masturbate, i can only get a partial erection. This new woman friend is very exciting and has an incredible figure and amnner about her. I used to think i was intimidated by her and her prowess but since i can not seem to get hard by
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Answer:
by Scott Gross: (12/22/2004)
Thank you very much for your question, I am sure that what you are experiencing is causing you a lot of distress.
First of all, let me make it clear that erection problems are extremely common for men of all ages. Weak erections or a complete loss of erection can occur for a variety of reasons.
The most common cause of erectile dysfunction (ED) is stress or anxiety. While you may not feel like you are experiencing a great deal of stress either in your life or sexually with your partner, sometimes your mind and body aren't on the same page and hence you are not able to get or keep an erection. I am sure that losing your erection bothers you for a variety of reasons, and unfortunately that only makes it harder to get or keep an erection. If you are afraid that it is going to happen again, then it IS more likely to happen again.
However, you've stated that you are having erection problems while masturbating. Most of the performance anxiety isn't there when you are masturbating, and so this leads me to believe that root of the problem may be more physical in nature. The medications that you are taking may have an impact on your ability to have an erection, and while high cholesterol alone will not likely cause the sudden onset of erectile problems, it may be a factor. Also, smoking cigarettes for a number of years can have an impact on a man's ability to have an erection, but you did not mention if you smoked or not.
My first piece of advice would be to discuss your concerns with your partner. It seems that you both really enjoy your love making and that's great. Try and relax when the two of you are together and take time to explore each others' bodies. If you lose your erection, try not to get discouraged. You can still enjoy each other sexually without intercourse or orgasm. If that method doesn't seem to help at all, then you'll need to see a doctor or a urologist who will be able to run tests and discover the source of the problem
Hope this helps, and feel free to ask any more questions you might have.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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