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Question:
I have a male friend with multiple sclerosis who doesn't think he will ever attract a girlfriend because of his disability. He
even says he is not worthy and whoever would want him, he wouldn't want. How can I help him?
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Answer:
by Patti McNeff: (05/16/2004)
Worthy of Love
Start by challenging his faulty thinking, because that's where his real problem lies. All humans are worthy of love, affection
and intimacy. At some point, most of us question our self-worth, then resolve the issue and get on with our lives. Your friend
may face an extra challenge to viewing himself positively because of the real losses caused by MS, but he needs to sort out
how much of his sense of unworthiness came before getting MS and how much came after.
If he views himself as too unlovable to have a girlfriend, that's what will happen. He needs to understand why he feels so
unworthy, then truly accept the reality that he is worthy despite the challenge of his disability. This will probably require
him to look at himself as a whole person, not just someone whose life has been changed by MS.
For you, it is a delicate balancing act. As a friend, you will want to be supportive, understanding and encouraging, yet not buy
into his negativity. That's where an objective therapist can really help.
--Patti McNeffReviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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