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Question:
I have an uncle with schizophrenia. He has made
passes at me for the past three years. He never raped
me or attacked me, but for he would touch me in
places that were wrong. I'm 22 years old and he is 30.
He also has touched his sister who is 33 years old, she
also has a mental illness. I feel guilty because I've been
excusing it because of his illness. I've Had a very close
relationship with him in my childhood. I love him very
much and it makes it hard to get mad at him. He is in a
hospital right now. Before he was sick he never
touched me or my aunt. I'm hoping he gets better,
because if he does I can forgive him, and hopefully
have a relationship with him. But that fear will always
be there. He was my best friend since I was born. And I
always trusted him until the harassment. I am suffering
from a sever depression. I still have hope that he will
get better. My question is, will having a relationship
with him affect my mental health.
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Answer:
by Wendy Maltz: (06/26/2004)
I can understand how upsetting this must be for you
to have a favorite uncle act inappropriately towards
you in recent years. For your sake, and his, it is
important that you set very clear physical boundaries
with him. Absolutely no passes or sexual touch allowed.
Regardless of how disturbed he is mentally, his actions
still constitute sexual abuse. It is a betrayal of your
trust and safety and an exploitation of his position as
your favorite uncle. Value yourself and protect yourself
from his advances even if you have to be blunt or rude
in the process. And if he doesn't respect your limits,
then stop having contact with him until he can. Letting
him touch you would only teach him that that kind of
treatment of women is okay. And we all know it's not.
You may also want to talk with his psychiatrist about
your concerns.Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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