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Question:
I have an uncle with schizophrenia. He has made passes at me for the past three years. He never raped me or attacked me, but for he would touch me in places that were wrong. I'm 22 years old and he is 30. He also has touched his sister who is 33 years old, she also has a mental illness. I feel guilty because I've been excusing it because of his illness. I've Had a very close relationship with him in my childhood. I love him very much and it makes it hard to get mad at him. He is in a hospital right now. Before he was sick he never touched me or my aunt. I'm hoping he gets better, because if he does I can forgive him, and hopefully have a relationship with him. But that fear will always be there. He was my best friend since I was born. And I always trusted him until the harassment. I am suffering from a sever depression. I still have hope that he will get better. My question is, will having a relationship with him affect my mental health.

Answer:
by Wendy Maltz:
(06/26/2004)
I can understand how upsetting this must be for you to have a favorite uncle act inappropriately towards you in recent years. For your sake, and his, it is important that you set very clear physical boundaries with him. Absolutely no passes or sexual touch allowed. Regardless of how disturbed he is mentally, his actions still constitute sexual abuse. It is a betrayal of your trust and safety and an exploitation of his position as your favorite uncle. Value yourself and protect yourself from his advances even if you have to be blunt or rude in the process. And if he doesn't respect your limits, then stop having contact with him until he can. Letting him touch you would only teach him that that kind of treatment of women is okay. And we all know it's not. You may also want to talk with his psychiatrist about your concerns.

Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS

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