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Question:
Can She or Can't She? My girlfriend is a low quad, and I find it difficult to be as sexually intimate as I want to be because she has never told me
what she can and can't do. How can I communicate my desires to her?
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Answer:
by Elizabeth McNeff: (07/20/2004)
Since you say she's your girlfriend, I'll assume the two of you have an ongoing commitment and relationship. What you need to
do is add a big dose of assertive communication to the relationship.Find a time when both of you are relaxed and free from
interruptions, then be honest about how you are thinking and feeling. If one or both of you feels awkward, hang in there--this
is really important. If you're worried that you might hurt her during sex, talk about that, too. Ask her what she likes and
doesn't like sexually, and share your own preferences.
Remember--assertive communication involves respectful listening as well as talking. Being assertive, over time, works better
than any other style. And the more we practice, the better we get. I encourage you to make these conversations an ongoing
aspect of your relationship.
--Patti McNeffReviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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