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Question:
I'm a quadriplegic, 24-year-old male and have never had
sex. I get erections all the time but cannot relieve them
myself because of my disability. They are getting longer,
more frequent and painful. I know I can't say to my nurse,
"Nurse, I need some help over here," but I have to do
something. I don't even let them wash some parts of my body
because I'm scared Iıll have an erection and I don't think
that is normal. It doesn't help that all three of the nurses
who come to my house are quite attractive. Please help
me.
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Answer:
by Mitchell Tepper: (05/16/2004)
It is, in fact, quite normal for a young man with a cervical
spinal cord injury to experience frequent and prolonged
reflex erections. Reflex erections are a result of direct or
indirect stimulation to the penis or surrounding area. For
example, putting on a catheter, having your legs ranged or
being turned in bed might all result in an erection. It's
called a reflex erection because it happens without thought.
Psychogenic erections, on the other hand, result from sexual
thoughts or fantasies. While men with cervical spinal cord
injuries are likely to get reflex erections, theyıre not
likely to have psychogenic erections. If your injury is
incomplete, however, you could be having both kinds of
erection. Either way, I think youıll find that your nurses
understand.
Itıs important to understand that not every erection is
sexually stimulated or needs to be "relieved." And if by
relief you mean ejaculation, it is not likely you would get
that type of relief even if the nurse did give you a hand,
so to speak. More often then not, spinal cord injury
interferes with the ability to ejaculate without the help of
a vibrator or electrical stimulation of the nerves.
So what's a man to do? First, you can bring this to the
attention of your doctor. Say, "Listen doc, I've been
getting more frequent reflex erections that are lasting
longer and longer. What can I do? And while we're talking
about it, I was wondering if I will still be able to
ejaculate.²
You might ask for a referral to a fertility evaluation,
preferably to a doctor or clinic that uses vibratory
stimulation as the first method for sperm retrieval. Your
doctor may be able to help--there are medications that can
impede erections, but the benefits will have to be weighed
against the potential side-effects.
Now, none of this is a solution for feeling sexually
frustrated. Sexual desire is not directly affected by spinal
cord injury and we all have a need to love and be loved. How
often are you in contact with people other than health
professionals? You should know that most licensed health
professionals are ethically prohibited from having sex with
you. That leaves working to increase your contacts with
others who might eventually become sexual partners.
--Mitch TepperReviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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