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Question:
I have a problem maintaining an erection. It (erection) lasts about 2 min. and then it softens. I am 50 years old. Also, it takes me a long time to ejaculate. I usually have to manually bring myself to ejaculate, no matter how excited I am with or by my partner. I have tried Viagra, and it also take me a long time to ejaculate and sometimes it softens before orgasm. It is very embarrassing! What can I do?
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Answer:
by Robert Birch: (05/15/2004)
Well, the first thing you can do is stop being embarrassed! The more you worry about losing an erection, the more likely it is that you will! I'm sure you have heard about the impact of "performance anxiety." But, you are 50 and not 15. Erections tend to become unstable as a man ages, some sooner and other later. The most common cause of these erectile changes associated with aging is the narrowing of the arteries that take blood into the erectile tissue of the penis. If a man has trouble achieving a "secure erection," the firmness might wax and wane and, just as soon as the man focuses on this instability, the erection is likely to be lost.
Before your doctor prescribed the Viagra, he or she should have examined you and given you some idea of why you were not keeping your erection. If it has more to do with performance anxiety than it has to do with circulatory changes, you should consult a qualified sex therapist (go to http://aasect.org to find a professional in your geographic area). Your delayed ejaculation is not as easily understood. Obviously, Viagra works on firmness, not of ability to orgasm. You need to talk face to face with a qualified professional about this concern.
Try to relax and have fun, without worrying so much about your performance. There are so many way to pleasure a partner, and you should focus more on being a good lover. But I do understand that having a reliable erection and being able to ejaculate is important, so find a professional you can talk with.
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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