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Question:
I'm 70 years old, and I still have the hots for my wife. My mind and body aren't in synch like they used to be, though. My erections come and go, both before and during sex. Do you have any ideas for how to handle these unexpected interruptions?
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Answer:
by Robert Birch: (05/26/2004)
At some point between age 45 and 55, most men realize that sexually they are no longer eighteen. Certainly by age 70 about 70% of men are experiencing unreliable erections, including difficulty in getting a firm erection or keeping one once achieved. However, feelings of sexual desire do not always follow the same course, as in your case, where the interest in sex seems to exceed the ability to have it!
Our aging bodies inevitably will begin playing tricks on us, but we need to be careful not to make things worse by focusing on these unexpected interruptions. If we label an interruption a "failures," and worrying about it happening again, we are likely to develop a "fear of failure" that can actually interfere with getting or keeping an erection. Part of the secret to enjoying lifelong sexuality is to focus our attention on the process, not the goal. If we set out to have fun, not just a firm erection, we are unlikely to enjoy the encounter regardless of what our penis decided to do. If we are committed to making love, not just making sex, we can express our caring in more whys than with our genitals. If our purpose is to experience intimacy, not just intercourse, we will count each encounter as a huge success.
I know, however, that many couples well into in their senior years still value their ability to have intercourse, and fortunately there is a good medical option. Aging males should not hesitate to talk with their doctors about the possible use of Viagra. This medication cannot be taken by some men, because of other medications being taken, but the majority of men will respond well to it. It is my belief that the best candidates for Viagra are those men in relationships with women who are still responsive and share the interest in staying sexually active.
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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