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Question:
My boyfriend is 42 years old, and untill the past year he's been in very good shape and health. I've noticed lately when we have sex, he doesn't get completely "hard", and most of the time doesn't ejaculate. When I asked him if it was me, he said it was old age, and he masterbates too much. He did finally admit I wasn't tight enough. I've been doing kegal exercises for a while now, and even tried oral stimulation. Is there anything else we could do to help? Is this what viagra is for?

Answer:
by Robert Birch:
(06/07/2004)
There is a lot going on here and online answers are never adequate in addressing complex relationship and sexual issues. But, a few ideas and suggestions might help. First, a 42 year old man will probably not become erect as quickly and become as hard as he did at 25 and certainly not as he did at 18. However, if you and he are having sex on regular basis, he should abstain completely from masturbation. Even with you doing your "Kegels," you will not be as tight as he grips himself while masturbating. So... he should stop masturbating, you should continue your Kegel Exercises, the two of you need to experiment with positions (some feel tighter to the man than others), and both should stop worrying. Be realistic and very careful about the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Check out all the contraceptive options. Most important, however, is my reminder that sex should be playful and fun... not a performance that demands that certain goals be attained.

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team

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