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Question:
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and sex is becoming more and more a realistic probability. I love him, but I have no interest in sex. I'm actually terrified of the idea. He's not pressuring me in anyway, however, I've noticed that more and more people around us are having sex. Yet, I still don't want to do it, I have no interest. Is there something wrong with me?
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Answer:
by Larry Siegel: ()
Thanks for writing in. Your concern and questioning is perfectly normal and natural. It's also shared by millions of your peers. The most important thing is to be open and honest, with both yourself and your partner, about your feelings, sex, and your feelings about sex. I think it's great that he's not pressuring you and that this is all part of a natural evolution in your relationship. It really doesn't matter what other people are doing. If the two of you are open and honest with each other, and can accept whatever boundaries need to be set in order for you BOTH to be comfortable, you will have a wonderfully satisfying relationship (quite likely more satisfying than many others who are having sex). Remember that "sex" is a big word and can mean a lot of different things to different people. There are numerous ways to share sexual pleasures without "having sex" - intercourse.
There's nothing wrong with being nervous or fearful about intercourse and there's no reason to jump into it - so to speak - until you're ready. It only shows you're human... Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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