Though I know that you are attracted to men, there are certainly ways to make your marriage a success. Marriage isn't only about having sex with someone. It can be about companionship, friendship and caring for one another as a person.

You can be loyal and loving as a husband, and she may appreciate that you are not always pressing to have sex with her. When the two of you are expected to have sex, either for pregnancy or for fulfilling social custom, there is no reason that you cannot be a caring, loving partner, while at the same time fantasizing that you are with the man of your dreams. So many people have sex this way. You also don't need to have sex all the time. Just spend time together being affectionate, and again you can pretend that you are with someone you sexually are attracted to.

As far as your attraction to men, I also know that in your country men have a lot of freedom to be away from home, so it would not be unusual for you to find a man you are attracted to and still be married. It would even be a wonderful relationship if you could tell your wife but I am not aware if that is even possible in your culture. If you may have more than one lover, then it is possible that you can be married and have a lover, too.

IF you are going to have sexual contact with people other than your wife though, be sure you are well protected from getting diseases. You could not only get a sexually transmitted disease yourself, but you could also pass it on to your wife and any children she may be carrying. AIDS, and other diseases can be deadly, so please use latex condoms if you are engaging in sexual contact with someone other than your wife, and if you need to you may want to use condoms with your wife until you are ready to have children.

I would be glad to continue to discuss this with you if you would like to write back to me. Please tell me more or ask more questions. This is something that is resolvable and there are many options that you have, even in your country.

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team