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Question:
I am a 24 year old male. I want to have sex with women. I do not want to have sex with men. Why do I find some guys so good looking and why does this make me feel guilty and anxious?
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Answer:
by John (Jack) Johnston: (05/27/2004)
There's not a quick answer for that, since every person's sexual makeup is unique. As a species, we are programmed to recognize "beauty", and many studies, including studies with very young infants, show that across cultures, people are genetically programmed to recognize certain facial and body configurations as "beautiful".
Thus, to recognize "good-looking" in both females and in males is natural. However, if you actually feel a sexual response, or experience sexual fantasies of being with a man, and this is distasteful or frightening to you, then there may be deeper issues you need help addressing.
Sometimes such conflict can be the result of having been molested as a child, or even a single incident as a child or young adult where you felt sexually threatened by someone. Your very best bet in a situation like that is to connect with a properly trained sex counselor with whom you can feel comfortable, and whom you can trust with these feelings. Two excellent resources for referral to such an individual are: first, review the qualifications of the Panel of Experts at this site. The nice thing is, you get to see their picture too. See if there is anyone whom you might feel comfortable talking with by phone. Even if they are not in your area, they may be able to refer someone qualified who is near you.
Second, contact the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists for a referral. Their website with contact information is: www.aasect.org
If you will give yourself the gift of talking with someone such as this, they will be able to help you sort things out... such a gift will last you a lifetime!Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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