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Question:
This may sound silly, but this torments me every time I have a physical exam. Half the time, the health care provider is female - which is wonderful, because if I have to be naked in front of a stranger, I'd rather it be a woman than a man. The problem is that during the testicular, hernia, prostate exams (whenever I'm naked in front of these women) I seem to experience the maximum amount of "shinkage" of my penis in this situation. While I wouldn't want to get an erection either, that would actually be less embarrassing to me than complete shinkage! When erect, I think I'm quite average, but in its flaccid state, my penis is small - but it's worse during these exams, it gets even smaller than regular. Any suggestions for a happy medium? Don't tell me that they won't care either, because the fact of the matter is that it bothers ME. I envision them joking about it later when there are no patients around, "That patient you just saw was cute." Reply, "Yeah, but he was really SMALL." "Too bad..." I have an upcoming exam and I'm already anxious about it. Thanks.
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Answer: by Annette Owens: ()
Thank you for contacting us at The Sexual Health Network with your concern. I fully acknowledge your concern and the fact that your penis size in the relaxed state bothers you. As you have already expected, my answer as a health professional is that REAL men and women come in all sizes and shapes – please read our current cover article by Mitch Tepper on this topic. We don’t judge anyone on his or her appearance, but do our job providing optimum health care. We examine breasts, whether small, medium or large and male as well as female genitals regardless of their shapes, sizes and appearances. It does not bother us how a patient looks but it seems to bother you, and I will try to address this issue.
Bernie Zilbergeld’s book The New Male Sexuality (see link on the side of this page) addresses the fact that so many men are worried about their penis size. As far as I remember (and my copy is in my office) one chapter is called “What is This Thing Called a Penis.” The book is worthwhile reading. Ask yourself whether your penis size has anything to do with who you are as a person. Even if your penis were less than average when erect, would your lover really care? I have heard from many women that they prefer men with small penises, since those men often pay much more attention to foreplay and other forms of sexual love play than just penis-in-vagina intercourse, which some men with large penises seem to focus on.
So on a final note let’s say a female health care provider does notice that your penis is small during the exam. Chances are that she will think after she has seen you: “This guy was very nice and his penis was small. I bet you he is a great lover.”
Sincerely,
Annette Owens, MD PhD
Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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