I'm writing back to thank you for your answering my earlier questions about pre-cum and sexual education materials last month. Sure enough - my girlfriend had her period and we both breathed a sigh of relief. I'm eagerly awaiting next month to pick up Contraceptive Technologies and Changine Bodies, Changing Minds as well - thank you for the very useful information!

As I had brought up I've been using a condom now when having sex but.. there has been a problem. It seems that I can't get used to them! Every time I put one on and we start having sex I can't feel anything. This causes me to lose whatever libido (spelling) I had and is becoming extremely frustrating for both of us. I have no problems putting one on, but.. the moment we start having sex I can't continue because of the loss of sensation. My girl-friend and I have been talking about it and we've been trying various things to get me used to them (she putting them on as part of fore-play, or me putting them on, just having one on and playing around, we've tried different brands, lubed and non-lubed, ultra-thin and non-thin) but nothing seems to help when we start having sex. It's quite embarrasing for me - I've even gone to a doctor for help but she didn't want to perscribe any medication because of my age. She mentioned it may be mental but I have no problems having sex WITHOUT a condom - I'm not imputent (ack, spelling on that word) I'm just not feeling anything. Further I realize that even if I do use any medication I still won't feel anything, I'd just be doing it to please her - which is worthwhile I suppose.

I hate asking her to use birth control pills as she is resistant to using them - but we're both worried that I won't be able to get used to using condoms. She's agreed that she would use them, but is worried about possible side effects as am I. I feel terrible because it'll be something she'll have to do and I don't want to ask her to do that. I'll be reading through the articles on the site again, but this time looking up info on 'the pill', but I figured I'd ask you as well.

Thank you again Doctor, you've been most helpful and reassuring. :-)

- Tim.

Since you have tried all kinds of latex condoms, there are several other alternatives that I might suggest. Since your protection is for the prevention of pregnany, you can also buy lambskin condoms. They don't prevent against virus created STIs such as HIV, but they are good for pregnancy prevention.

I also suggest that you try using polyurethane condoms. They don't fit as tightly and there is much feeling, especially of heat, through them. There are even polyurethane condoms for females. Males rarely have erection difficulties when she uses the Reality condom for females. There is no pressure or tightness on the penis at all.

Also, when you are using these, use plenty of extra lubrication. Use water-based lubricants like Astroglide or others that have a silicone base. They have such excellent smoothness that the feeling is enriched when using these type lubricants.

Hopefully one of these suggestions will help. Write back and be sure to let me know how it worked out.

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team