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Question:
Me and my fiance have been together for 9mths and will be married this april. At the beginning of our relationship we decided to wait until we are married to have sex and it has been a problem for use a few times and we have come to a point were we now want to be together. How do I know wether or not he is sexually attracted to me because has not made any kind of move or anything how do I know if I'm turning him on or not and what are some alternatives to not having actual intercourse and still both of us can be satisfied.
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Answer:
by Sandra L. Caron: ()
I think you have raised a really good question in terms of wondering if your partner finds you sexually attractive - and one that will be important to find out before the wedding, if this is something that is going to be important to the marriage. You say you are not sure. I would suggest having a discussion with him about what he is thinking. You say you both agreed to wait until marriage to become sexually involved. Perhaps he has decided to keep that commitment. It will be important to talk with him - and a good chance to practice communication - something that will be essential to the relationship. In other words, you need to be able to discuss your concerns and feel heard, and to feel like you have a clear idea of what your partner is thinking. Sharing your expectations will be useful.
In terms of other things you could be doing - there is certainly a range - perhaps you could ask your partner about cuddling, with or without clothes on and other ways of touching your bodies besides genitally. Again, the conversation is important. You are marrying this person, which means you are making a lifetime commitment to each other. It is best to enter the marriage with some understanding and assurance. Best wishes. Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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