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Question:
I am a woman of 34 years old and my husband is 44. We are married for 8 years and we have 2 children. My problem is since 92 we make love 4 times a year and for me it is a big problem because I need more relation, like once a week. I told with him about this problem and he always says that he is like that. Yesterday he said to me that he is not attract by the sex. I asked if he has somebody else, and he answered no. Can you confirm to me how many time a month a normal man has to have sex. Is my husband normal? This is a big problem in our relation. Congratulation for this home page, please give me an answer.

Answer:
by Yvonne Fulbright:
(05/14/2004)
Sorry to hear that you are unhappy with your sexual relationship with your husband. That must be awfully frustrating for you. I can surely understand your need to find out if he has a "normal," male sex drive. However there is a wide variation of normal so I cannot comment on that. I can say that based on a national study of American's that on statistical average 12.8% of married men had sex a few times per year, 1.3% not at all and 42.5% a few times a month. That leaves 43% who have sex 2 or more times a week. The question isn't so much as what's normal but how do you handle different levels of sexual interest and desire in a relationship. Like you, it is difficult for many women (and men also) to be in a relationship with a partner who is not interested in physical relations. Often, it is the sign of other problems that may exist and can ultimately upset the nonsexual aspects of the relationship. Since the number of sexual encounters every year is disheartening for you, and it seems as if your sexual and emotional needs are not being satisfied despite you sharing your concerns with your husband, it may be time for the two of you to seek sexual or marital counseling for guidance in resolving this matter. If he doesn't want to go, you can go on your own to help sort out your feelings since this is a big problem for you. Yvonne K. Fulbright, MS.Ed. Sexual Health Network The Social Organization of Sexuality : Sexual Practices in the United States by Edward O. Laumann, Robert T. Michael (Editor), John H. Gagnon (Editor), stu Michaels

Reviewed by: Max Perez BA

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