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Question:
Is it normal to get aroused by any little thing a women does to you. Such as hugs or kisses or even holding hands. My girlfriend always asks why I'm so aroused, and to me it's kind of embarrassing... I was wondering if you might be able to tell me how i could control my erections? It's a big problem, such as at night my girlfriend won't even cuddle because i have an erection. I think i get to excited and to aroused the same time. I've tried to forget about any kind of sexual thoughts, or just tried to hide it from her. I'm really bad with premature ejaculation. Maybe you can help with that to..?
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Answer:
by Robert Birch: (05/15/2004)
It is quite normal for a man, especially a young man, to experience spontaneous erections or erections with very little provocation. This would be particularly true in the company of a young woman who is physically attractive. Trying not to think about sex in her company probably will not help much -- this is almost a matter of "chemistry."
You could, of course, masturbate before going out with your girlfriend, but while that might take care of the unexpected erections, it might get in the way when one is indeed needed. My best advice is to tell your girlfriend that your excitement is the result of your attraction and caring for her. But the most important thing I can tell you is be careful not to pursue each and every erection without regard to what your girlfriend wants. As you know, men are too often accused of thinking with their penises -- don't be one of them!
Your quick erections and your quick ejaculations are no doubt related to the same thing. You are an easily excited guy and the two main psychological reasons men ejaculate quickly are high excitement and high anxiety. The more you worry about it, the worse it is likely to get.
There are things you can do to learn better ejaculatory control. These take time and a cooperative partner. For now, since I suspect you are young, my best advice is to learn everything you can about manually and orally pleasing your partner -- that takes some pressure off you when it comes to intercourse. Also remember, the majority of women are not orgasmic during intercourse, no matter how long the man can last.
Read what I have written about rapid ejaculation on this Sexual Health Network web site.
Be a considerate lover, not pushing just because you are aroused, and be a sensitive lover, learning what works best in giving satisfaction to the woman in your life. Do this and you will both understand why it is called "making love."
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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