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Question:
Hi there, i spent lastnight with my gf and were both virgins. We had never tried to have sex until lastnight. It didnt go as planned, basically the problem was that i could not keep my penis up and when i could i could not put it in her vagina, it seemed too tight. We both decided to give it another go some time but i just dont know what went wrong. I have no problems finding my way around a vagina but its just that my penis would not go up her vagina and when i tried forcing it up me penis just went floppy and i was back to square one where i had to become erect again. I am 16 years of age and i just feel bad about failing to have sex with her. I can make my penis hard however i cant normally keep it up for too long unless i have woken up. Also i find condoms quite tight on my penis. Could this cause my penis to go floppy because its blocking the blood ? or maybe i have an erection disorder, could you please give me a number to call aswell just incase this is the problem ? and is there some sort of way to help this by using medication other than viagra? Hope you can help and give me some advice. Thanks in advance

Answer:
by Megan Andelloux: (01/15/2006)
No medication, 16 years old, no other medical issues. It is VERY unlikely that you have an impotence problem. So take that VIAGRA idea out of your head because a 16 year old who is not taking any other medication does not need it. You've got a couple things working against you from what you have written. 1. Condoms are too tight. If they are too tight, you my sir, have to purchase the MAGNUM or EXTRA LARGE ones. Trojan and Durex make them. If they are too tight, they can cause pain which can cause you to lose your erection if you are experiencing one. 2. Erections are fabulous things. But they can be fragile and nervousness due to stress (giving your virginity to someone else can be quite stressful, in a good way of course, but still stressful and can cause a man to lose his erection very easily. Pain is another thing that can cause an erection to be lost. So, wearing a condom that was too tight, having sex for the first time, your girlfriend being nervous causing her vaginal muscles to tighten up, making it more difficult for you to enter into the vagina and what I am expecting you would tell me if I asked you, no extra sexual lubricant around or being used. 3. Lack of lubrication. Lube makes things slide in better, feel better, create a better suction-basically lube is your best friend when it comes to sex (masturbation or partner sex). Use some lubrication, not anything you can pull out of your house currently, you have to buy the type of lube sold next to condoms in the stores, like KY Liquid or Astroglide. Using baby lotion, baby oil, massage lotion, crisco, vegetable oil can cause a vaginal infection and destroy a condom within 60 seconds. So, try using some lube next time you want to play. Put some on her clitoris and vaginal opening (it'll make things slide in better). Put 2-3 drops of lube in the condom before you roll it down on your penis. Lube in condoms makes the condoms less likely to break and makes wearing condoms feel 10x better. Wearing an extra large condom so it doesn't hurt you will help too. 4. After 45 minutes, the erection has to go down. So, if you were playing and it lasted over 45 minutes, then you tried to enter into her body, you had all that working against you until you got hard again. It is normal to lose an erection after 45 minutes, the blood has to be released, otherwise damage could occur. Keep this in mind the next time you play. Not that it should be a race to get the sex done within 45 minutes, but it does factor into it. So it sounds like you're normal and this was just the first sex blues. You are not a failure, this stuff happens to the best of us. Have her sit on top of you the next time you give it a go. That way, she is in control of when something is going to go into her body, and she will be less tense, making it less difficult to put your penis inside of her, especially with the lube on her. Relax, laugh about this and enjoy! Thanks for writing in and good luck next time! Megan Andelloux

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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