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Question:
After being in a fairly long-term relationship, I split up with my girlfriend for being unfaithful. We had a very active and incredible sexlife which has continued periodically after we broke up.
Since then I have had the chance to do stuff with other girls but they fail to arouse me. It seems my former girlfriend is the only person who can properly do this... I feel like I should be enjoying being young and single and that I am missing out in this respect. Also the longer other girls fail to turn me on, the more I feel like getting back with my old girlfriend. While one side of me says this would be a good idea, I know that this is, really, a bad idea given her past behaviour.
I feel as though 'mucking about' would help me get over my last girlfriend. Yet failure so far in this area means I feel drawn back to her (i.e. stupidly thinking with my dick). What can I do?
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Answer:
by Sandra L. Caron: ()
I think that the context in which sex happens can be so important. That seems to be what you are describing. You say you have a hard time being aroused when you have had the chance to be with other girls since your breakup. I think this is normal. As you imply, this may not be the way to go at this time - especially since you sound like you still need to resolve some feelings about your former girlfriend and her infidelity. It is so often within the context of a trusting, caring and loving relationship that good sex can flourish.
I would suggest investing some time in developing an emotional connection with a partner before the physical - you may find that this allows you to feel more relaxed, and less guarded. Clearly, whenever a person breaks up with someone who they cared about for a long time, it is going to take time. Best wishes. Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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