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Question:
Ok, I'm and 18 year old male and have been sexually active since I was about 16. I have had several partners and have been able to have lots of sex (oral or intercource), up until recently. Now it seems as though I can't get excited over anything. Even when kissing someone I can't seem to get excited or and erection. I have found that the only way I can get even a little excited is though mausterbation. Now I have lost all confidence. Is something wrong with me, is there some thing I can do to fix this problem?
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Answer:
by Annette Owens: ()
Thank you for contacting us with your concern. First of all, relax. This sounds like a temporary problem to me and it is likely to resolve once you stop being worried about not getting exited. You said in your additional information that your problem started about six months ago after one night of real great sex. Were your expectations up very high the next time? If a man is tense, or even nervous his erections can be reduced. It is basically a physiological reaction. When you are nervous, your body produces adrenaline, which reduces the blood flow to your penis and makes it difficult to get an erection. Erections happen when blood rushes to the penis, allowing it to swell up. So the trick for you will be to try to be less tense about it. One way you can accomplish this is to get to know your partner and feel more comfortable around her (Assuming that you are having a female partner).
Sex is not just a physical stimulation of the genitals. The mind is playing a very important role. The more comfortable you are with your partner and yourself, the better will your sexual experience be. This usually takes time in any relationship. Be patient, and allow yourself the time to let your relationship develop. Allow yourself much time just to kiss and explore each other without focusing so much on intercourse.
Also be sure that you feel comfortable with the birth control you are using. Condoms are not 100% safe and there is a small chance of becoming pregnant despite the use of condoms. This thought alone can be so powerful and frightening to some that they loose their erection. So be sure to discuss appropriate birth control methods with your partner, as for example the use of birth control pills in addition to condoms.
Please do not hesitate to ask if you have any further questions.
Sincerely,
Annette Owens, MD PhD
Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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