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Question:
I am a 21 year old male. I have this problem with being able to sustain an erection with a girl. The problem is that when I start to get intimate I obtain an erection and as soon as the clothes come off and I know I am going to have sexual intercourse with the female, my erection goes down. This was a problem since I first started to have relations with girls. I'm asking you this cause I just broke up with my girlfriend for 2 years and never had that problem with her. We had sex once or twice a day. But as soon as we broke up it happened again.
I hooked up with this girl got her naked and then my erection went down. This has happened with apporximately 10 or more girls before and after I met my girl friend. I can mastubate fine and recieve erections like normal males in the morning or throughout the day. I'm on no medication, was never sexually or mentally abused as a child. What can I do to prevent this from occuring in the future so it doesn't affect a future relationship with a girl.
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Answer:
by George Taleporos: (06/05/2004)
Hello and thank you for your question. It sounds like you are experiencing 'performance anxiety', that is, you are having trouble with your arousal because you are nervous when you are going to be intimate with a girl. Worry and nervousness inhibits a person's ability to have an erection. This is not unusual and the fact that you still have erections in the morning and when masturbating suggests that physiologically, you are functioning normally. Performance anxiety is a psychological issue and considering that you didnt have the problem when you were in a steady relationship, your anxiety may reflect feelings of nervousness and apprehension with having sex with girls with whom you are not completely comfortable with. It may help to spend more time getting to know your sexual partners and to focus on other forms of intimacy rather than sexual intercourse and 'getting it up'. Instead of stripping off with the intention of having sexual intercourse, I suggest you massage each other and enjoy yourselves with other non-penetrative activities. The erections will return when the anxiety subsides and a good way to reduce your anxiety is to focus on other things that bring you both pleasure. The less that you focus on your erections, the more relaxed you will feel and relaxation and calmness are excellent foundations for reducing performance anxiety. Feel comfortable in talking to your doctor about this if it persists because it is a very common and normal experience. I hope this has helped you.Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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