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Question:
Hello Sir/Madam
I'm about a month away from being sixteen and I am very depressed. I have never had a serious relationship, and I am concerned about the lenght of my penis. The size is about 4 and 3/4 inches not erect but it looks much smaller in the mirror. The size of my penis has caused me emotional havoc, I have problems apporaching girls I like and can't talk to them well. Also, I thought masturbating would help my penis enlarge, as my friend told me. I have just recently started masturbating (about 1 year ago) and my penis has not improved. Which brings me to my question: Is there anyway I can enlarge my penis so my self confidence around the opposite sex can grow?
Thank you for your time and thanks for listening. You guys are the only people I can really talk to about this kind of stuff.
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Answer:
by Raven James: (06/05/2005)
Let me begin by saying that discomfort and anxiety over penis size is very common in our culture. Unfortunately, we live in a society that is obssessed with the "bigger is better" syndrome, and not just with penises. If the house is bigger, the better it is; bigger cars are better than smaller ones. The resulting beliefs are that bigger penises are more pleasurable than smaller ones. And we are bombarded with media images that feed this belief.
The truth of the matter is that many women find large penises to be a turn-off because a too large penis can cause painful intercourse when the penis goes too deep inside the vagina, hitting the cervix (the end of the vagina that is the opening to the uterus). If the penis bangs into the cervix and displaces the uterus, it can jar an ovary (where the woman's eggs are located), and the resulting feeling can be like a man being hit in the balls (testes). Many women worry that a man with a larger penis may actually hurt them during intercourse, and prefer smaller or more average sized penises.
Non-erect or flaccid penises come in many shapes and sizes, from one inch to several inches, all within the normal range. Small flaccid penises tend to increase in size more than larger flaccid penises. Penis size is also not related to anything like body shape, finger length, height, or race. There are many myths surrounding how someone can tell if a man has a large penis, or how to make it larger (including the maturbation myth).
There is surgery to make the penis larger, but more often than not, the men that have it are average penis size, and the risks can cause scarring, changing the angle, loss of sensation and more. Many men who have had this surgery report being unsatisfied, embarrassed and sorry they had it.
Sometimes, the believe that the size of your penis makes you less of a man can cause decreased sexual satisfaction because of the belief, not because of any physical limitation. It is mostly in the mind. If you can feel good about yourself and your ability to be a compassionate partner and have some self-confidence that you are ok just the way you are, this can be a step toward reducing your fears about approaching a woman for a relationship. Sexual intercourse is only one small area of a relationship, and if someone loves you just because of your penis size, I would worry about how happy you would be in the long run. Many women appreciate the ways their lovers relate to them emotionally more than sexually. And woman have different preferences over what sized penises they like, just as men have preferences over breast size, etc. Try to focus on your personal qualities, it sounds as if you are quite normal to me.
Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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