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Question:
I am a 52 year old male with a problem regarding failure to orgasm/ejaculate. The problem started roughly a year ago, with the initial symptoms being an increase in the time to reach orgasm. This happened fairly infrequently at first. My wife seemed to think that it was a lack of interest in her that caused it to happen, although I have exactly the same difficulty if I masturbate on my own. In recent months I have had an affair, and although the relationship has been very stimulating, I am still experiencing the same problem only it seems to be much more frequent now. I have no problem whatsoever maintaining my erection, and seem to be able to go on for a very long time much to my partner's delight. I do achieve a very heightened arousal, however I really miss ejaculating/having an orgasm. I am not taking any kind of drug, prescribed or otherwise. Some years ago I had some checks done regarding inability to provide a good stream, however after these tests I found I was able to urinate normally again. I don't appear to have any lumps in my testicles etc, and my health generally is excellent. Could the failure of orgasm/ejaculation have serious implications, what are the chances of regaining my old abilities, and what can I do to correct this?

Answer:
by Annette Owens:
(05/15/2004)
Your problem with delayed ejaculation can have various causes: 1) One organic cause can be related to changes in hormone levels (androgen deficiency), which can be assessed by lab-testing. 2) Another organic cause could be if some of the nerves important for the ejaculation process have been somehow affected. Since you claim to be otherwise healthy, this is probably unlikely in your case. 3) Could it be possible that you are ejaculating backwards into your bladder? This could reflect early sexual symptoms of diabetes. I would suggest having your blood sugar checked in order to rule out diabetes. 4) You mention that you are not currently taking any medications. Some drugs can cause so called "dry orgasms" (orgasms without emission and no apparent evidence of backwards ejaculation into the bladder). But again, this seems not to be the case for you. 5) Have you had a recent prostate exam? If not, I recommend to have one done. You mentioned problems a few years ago (inability to provide a good stream), that could have been related to an enlarged prostate. 6) You mentioned that the problem started a year ago, and that your wife originally thought that it was due to lack of interest in her. You have since started an affair. I suggest that you get counseling in order to resolve your situation. Your problem with delayed ejaculation can very well be related to marital or relationship concerns. A sex therapist can specifically deal with your ejaculation problems, but any other counselor can also be helpful in resolving your issues. The fact that you still have the problem when masturbating or when being with your lover does not rule out that your problem has psychological roots. The chances for regaining your old abilities will depend on the cause. I suggest that you have your androgen levels, blood sugar, and PSA (prostate-specific antigen) tested at your doctor’s office, together with a digital prostate exam. I also strongly recommend getting counseling in order to try to resolve your relationship issues. If the origin of your problem is psychological, it could improve much with sex therapy/counseling. Finally, I am glad that you have checked for lumps in your testicles. It is a good idea for all men to perform periodic self examination of their testicles, checking for lumps or other testicular irregularities. Good luck, and let me know if I can be of further help to you. Annette Owens, MD PhD

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team

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