It is encouraging to hear that you can ejaculate during masturbation. You did mention that you are taking Paxil for depression and one possible side effect of that type of medication (SSRI's) is difficulty to ejaculate. But since you are able to ejaculate during masturbation your difficulties may not be due to a medication side effect. But you can always discuss this with your prescribing physician anyway. Do not stop taking the medication or reducing the dose but discuss it with your doctor first!

One thing I would encourage you to do is to try to reach a similar level of arousal (turn on) when you are with your girl friend as compared to when you masturbate. This is often where the problem is. Men (and women) are often used to masturbating in a special way and they have certain fantasies that work for them. Try to figure out how you can apply what you are doing when by yourself to the intercourse situation. One way would be to ask her to masturbate you (tell or show her how you like to be touched). You can also try to use some of the fantasies that work for you during masturbation when you are with your girlfriend. Another thing would be to try to masturbate in new ways in order to get out of a possible rut.

Please try some of these suggestions and let me know what happens. Be patient!

Good luck,

Annette Owens, MD PhD

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team