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Question:
I'm writing on behalf of a "client" - a young teen-ager whose father is concerned that, because of his cerebral palsy and mild mental retardation, he doesn't have the social skills required to deal with his awakening hormones and interest in girls. Are you aware of any resources (publications, web-sites, chat groups, etc.) that I might be able to refer this young man to? Note: I have sent him excerpts from a book entitled, "Taking Charge: Teenagers Talk about Life and Physical Disabilities" (Woodbine House, 1992) - but it doesn't really address the issues my client is dealing with.
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Answer:
by Susan Ludwig: (05/26/2004)
Dear D.,
Thank you for your question! It is great when a parent and an agency team up to support individuals like the young man you describe here in his teen years. These are important times for this young man to learn how to make friends, to learn about his changing body and to learn about sexuality and responsibility.
I don't know of any specific resources that would help this young man, but would strongly suggest that there be two types of written resources available to him. First, books that tell about a man's and a woman's body and how they change during adolescence. I call these books ‘encyclopedia' types of books -- they tell about the parts of the body -- particularly the parts that undergo change during the adolescent years. There are many of these types of books -- look for one that has short descriptions and lots of illustrations. My favourite authors for this type of book are Paulette Bourgeois and Sol Gordon. Look in your public library first -- and then go to your local book stores. Often, a Library will accept suggestions for this type of resource and will purchase books that are recommended for these purposes.
The second type of book is the book that describes what it is like to be a teenager and live with all the changes of adolescence. This type of book is referred to by educators as "high interest -- low vocabulary" books and are novels that help teens to see their experiences as adolescents as part of a "normal" experience. Ask your librarian about titles -- or write again, and I will provide you with a list of titles that has been compiled by a local Children's Librarian. There are many titles that are gay-positive as well as many that are descriptive of a heterosexual experience.
What is important to know, however, is that sexuality and relationship skills are best learned in a group of individuals who have similar interest and ability. For this reason, I encourage parents to find groups to which their child can contribute and from which they can learn. Schools may provide some of these settings -- activities, clubs and various volunteer organizations can offer everyone a sense of belonging and participating. In addition, schools have a responsibility to see that their students are offered basic information about sexuality. Talk to this young man's teacher and see what that person has planned for this man and for other students who have similar ability. It is my belief that literacy is an important skill -- AND sexuality is too important to only teach to students who are literate! There are lots of ways to provide learning experiences that do not involve a complete knowledge of reading and related skills!
Please keep in touch. I wish you well in your role as an advocate -- and hope that you will let us know if we can provide any further information.
Sincerely,
Susan Ludwig, R.N., B.Sc.Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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