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Question:
Hello. I am 23 years old and married with a young
son (20 months old). I was abused by my uncle and, I'm
pretty sure, someone else who I can't remember. I've
been working so hard on healing for about five years
but we have no money so therapy is not an option for
me. When I was 17 and 18 years old I worked in a
masturbation parlor where I had private clients that I
took my closes off for. In reading your books and
others' books I always see a single sentence here or
there on prostitution but I am unable to find a
significant resource for information on it. I was
wondering if you had any suggestions. Also I have just
in the last few months started to feel some sensation in
my genitals. It feels good but still I don't always like it,
or afterward it makes me feel bad. My husband can not
understand how I could not like something that feels
good and I am unable to explain it to him. I don't know
what to do because it is such big progress, I'm starting
to understand why people like sex instead of just
cuddling which I have always preferred. I don't want
the progress to go away but I don't know what to do
because it gives me mood swings and makes me want
to hurt myself.
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Answer:
by Wendy Maltz: ()
It sounds like you have been making some very good
progress with sexual healing on your own; reading
books and exploring sensual touch. Symptoms such as
feeling bad after genital touch, experiencing mood
swings, and having thoughts of hurting yourself, often
point to unresolved psychological issues which need
therapeutic attention. I recommend you contact your
local rape crisis center or women’s center or women’s
health clinic to locate no-cost counseling services. In
many cities some established therapists will see a few
“no pay” clients as a community service. It may take
some calling around though to find them.
When a person has experienced sexual abuse followed
by prostitution it can take some time to learn that your
body really does belong to you and the sensations you
feel are yours and yours alone. Feeling sensation is
natural. You have a right to enjoy sexual pleasures
regardless of your history. Don’t blame yourself or your
genitals for what was done to you long ago.
Please contact the national organization VOICES for
survivors of sexual abuse. They have a hotline,
1-800-7VOICE8 (1-800-786-4238), and may be
able to help you find resources on recovery from
prostitution. I wish you well with your continued
recovery.Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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