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Question:
I am a 33 year old graduate student studying Clinical Social Work. I was a Domestic Violence Councelor by profession, prior to relocating to enter school. I have been assigned to work next semester in an agency which advocates for sexually abused children, and will be working in a counseling and advocacy capacity with a caseload that ranges in age from 3 years to 16 years of age. My professional goal has been to become a skilled psychotherapist who works with adults who were abused as children.
I visited the placement a month ago and feel that it seems to provide dedicated services and assistance to the children; but after I left, the same day, I felt (and continue to feel) emotionally impacted by the realities that are addressed daily within the agency. I am myself a survivor of domestic violence and sexual assault as an adolescent. I felt pained that any child should be faced with such treacherous realities.
The same evening, after the orientation, I felt an aversion to my male companion's touch and affections. I felt anxious and sad, and sometime later I cried thinking of the harsh experiences confronting the children. My body began to remember its own numbness and fear.
I have done years of self-healing work through various means, and have worked in domestic violence with women who were sexually abused as children, and have worked to some extent with their children who sometimes had also experienced sexual abuse. However, I have not spoken to the children in detail about their experiences as their counselor.
The professionals in the placement told me that what is additionally difficult about the work, is the lack of support for the children on the part of social service professionals, the legal system and some caretakers. The relationship that the children sometimes have with an abusive caretaker for example is something that a counselor may have limited ability to impact. In other words, there is no way to completely rescue and protect the children. My body remembers its own past battles with powerlessness.
As a Domestic Violence advocate and counselor, no matter how potentially lethal the situation was, I was able to take the position that WE COULD DO IT, That I refuse to see goliath. That the situation is improvable and working together we, the survivor and I can do it.
I fear that I will be unable to approach the work with the children in the same manner that has allowed me to function well and be effective in my work in domestic violence, and that has made the work so forfilling and rewarding.
I contacted the placement department of my university about my concerns. I stated that I was concerned about the rigorous graduate schedule making it extremely difficult to provide myself with activities that will help me to maintain emotional balance, as I did when I was employed. I was told that the department would likely not accept this as a reason to change the placement, and that it is a site that is in demand among students.
Please help. I have a lot to give to the profession and to clients, but I am very concerned. I don't want to negatively impact the children, the agency or myself.
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Answer:
by Wendy Maltz: (06/14/2004)
Working with sexually and physically abused children is very demanding work. As I see it, you have two ways to approach this. One is to demand another placement that is less of a trigger to
you. I believe that your graduate program should be sensitive to the personal reactions and
needs of the students. All of us therapists have some areas we simply do not want to or
can't work in. Knowing our personal limits is a sign of being a good therapist and being
able to protect ourselves from burnout. For example, I know many sexual abuse
therapists who refuse to work with present-day sex offenders. It's just too confusing and
upsetting to work both sides of the violence. The other approach you could take is to see
this placement as a time-limited learning experience (which it is) and lower your
expectations of what you can do for these kids. I recommend being in therapy during it and
journaling a lot. Focus on establishing healthy emotional boundaries from work content. Also keep a part of your living space (such as your bedroom) off limits to talking about sexual and physical abuse, reading about it, etc. Just being there, doing your best, caring about the kids, and helping them
get services is an important service. Even when a child is still vulnerable to abuse, it is
comforting to know adults care and are trying their best to protect and model a healthy way
of being in the world. Therapists are not all powerful. Sometimes the best we can do is
offer hope and plant seeds for future growth.
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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