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Question:
Hello, My wife have small asshole, my penis is normal size, when I trying for anal sex, it is very deficit for me put into her anus, she suffer great pain in her anus then she refuse to do this type sex, I use deferent type water base lubricant, but nothing, what can I do, please help me, Thanks

Answer:
by Yvonne Fulbright: ()
Before I try to help you out, I have to say that it's of great concern to me that even though your wife does not seem to enjoy anal sex and is in pain from it, you still want to have her engage in this type of activity. Whether or not anybody can help you out as far the two of you having good anal sex, you should make sure that this is something that she wants to do and something that she is willing to find pleasure in. Otherwise, anal sex with her will never be everything you're hoping it will be. Personally, I don't think that everybody's anus is "made for" anal sex. But for those who are willing to try, you need to make sure that there are some key ingredients to the sexual encounter: desire, trust, relaxation, commnication, and tons of lubricant. First, begin by moistening your wife's anus with lubricant or saliva. Lubricate your penis (and condom, if you're using one) as well. Try relaxing your wife's anal sphincter muscle with some finger penetration, before gently inserting your penis into her rectum. (Note: a condom may make it easier for you to slide in.) If this doesn't work, have her get into an "on top" position, where your penis may be able to slide in with more ease, and she has more control in having it do so. As you're able to start thrusting, make sure that it's controlled and gentle, so that you're not tearing her anal lining (or the condom). Check in with her regularly to make sure she's comfortable and not in pain - and more than anything, make sure that both of you are relaxed. Thank you for visiting the Sexual Health Network. Yvonne K. Fulbright, MS.Ed.

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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