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Question:
Hi,
I'm fifteen years old and I'm unsure about my sexual orientation. I've always liked men, however, there are some things that have led me to believe that I may be bisexual. For example, pictures of women make me more excited than pictures of men. Also, I've had dreams of doing sexual things with women as well as men. I don't think that doing anything with a girl is gross and I think if I had the chance to be with a girl I would take it. From what you've heard, it sounds like I am a bisexual, but the problem is, I don't think I'd find a relationship with a girl satisfying. I can picture myself kissing a girl but not really being in love with one. I'm really lost, I don't know if my sexual fantasies make me a bisexual or not. I know people say it all comes down to what you think, but I don't know what to think and I'd like an opinion, thank you,
Caught in the Middle
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Answer:
by Konstance McCaffree: ()
What a wonderful question, and you have already done some pretty deep thinking about it. It is really hard to know what we are since that means putting a label on ourselves. A label sometimes really doesn't define us very well.
You may be bisexual (it is believed that most people probably are) and until you find someone, male or female, that you are really attracted to in person you may not know what it feels like to be with that person.
As you grow older you may also find that your attractions and desires change. This happens to people as they learn more about themselves and meet more people. Many people are in their 20's and 30's before they realize they have an attraction they never knew before.
So, at 15, you may just want to explore for awhile. You don't have to label yourself, you don't have to be anything specific. Just let your attractions and the people you meet in life guide what you are doing.
I think sometimes it is hard to imagine ourselves really getting turned on by the same sex and being with them because we don't get many images on TV or in movies of this type of attraction. We get bombarded with heterosexual images but rarely if at all of gay or lesbian. This type of relationship is often portrayed in comedy but not in real attraction.
Feel free to write back if you have other questions.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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