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Question:
Hi, I am 18 years old and have been having sex for about 7 months now. I have never had an orgasam. I do however get to the point where I cannot handle it anymore and have to ask my boyfriend to stop, but I do not think that I have ever had an orgasam. Also I don't get too wet before or even during sex. It has become really frustrating to me that I am unable to have an orgasam. What should I do to be able to have an orgasam.

Answer:
by Blair Glaser:
(11/15/2005)
What happens to you when it "gets too much" and you need to stop? Just mark the physical sensations. Does your vagina hurt, your stomach tighten, your jaw clench . . . what emotion are you feeling? This exploration can bring you information about what you are responding to sexually, and what is threatening to you about pleasure or "letting go" in sex. Focusing on having an orgasm never works. My advice is, go shopping with your partner for some really nice lubricant, so that you can stay wet, which helps. Then, agree that both of you will release any pressure for you to have an orgasm. Then designate a whole afternoon or evening (a nice chunk of time) to playing in bed. Your only intention is to explore and enjoy. Not to Achieve, but to Receive, and to give pleasure when called to. And when you are not enjoying, stop. Do this as much as you can. See what happens.

Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS

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