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Question:
Hi, I am 22 years old. Male. I recently got married. I was virgin all my life but now I want to have sex with my wife as much as possible.
The sad thing is that I can not do it more than once. After ejaculating I dont get another erection for atleast 10 mins and when I do get an erection, It really hurts.
Also, If I have sex two times a day or four times a week, I feel extremely week. I can not walk fast. I get back pain and pain in my muscles too.
I dont know what to do.
Is it because of lack of exercise or is it because I am not healthy enough or underweight.
(by the way I am 5'11" tall and I weigh 135 Pounds.)
I dont know the exact reason of this.
Please help me. I want to have a best relationship with my wife.
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Answer:
by Larry Siegel: (06/21/2004)
Hello and thanks for writing in. Your concern and frustration is perfectly understandable, especially since intercourse with our wife is a new experience. Let me start by saying that it might be a good idea to visit your doctor or a urologist to get a sexual health check-up. It would be helpful to be able to rule out anything medical that might be causing the problem. That said, let me explain a bit about erections.
An erection occurs when the tissue in the penis, called spongy or erectile tissue, fills with blood. In spite of such terms as "boner," "wood," and "hard on," there are no bones or muscles in the penis. An ejaculation occurs as rhythmic contractions of muscles underneath the penis drive semen up and out through the urethra, usually in a series of 2-8 spurts. After ejaculation, your body goes through what is called a refractory or resolution period. This means that not matter what, you will not be able to get another erection until your body has returned to normal. For a man your age, this refractory period most commonly lasts between 10 and 20 minutes.
For men who ejaculate with great force in their muscle contractions, it is not uncommon to strain the muscle a bit, which could feel painful. If you are very underweight and don't have good muscle tone throughout your body, it is possible that this is what's happening. Similarly, if you are not in good condition as far as muscle tone and general stamina, it may be possible that ejaculating more than once in a day, or several times in a week could sap you of energy.
It also should be taken into consideration that sex and orgasm often involve one's whole body. If you are having intercourse in a way that you're really working your body, it might cause you to feel various aches and pains or weakness in your legs, back, shoulders, abs, etc.
Much of these things can be remedied by improving your physical condition. You may also want to find different ways and positions in which to have intercourse. See if it's any different if she's on top or you do it side by side, either facing each other or in a "spoon" position. It might be possible that switching positions to one that is less taxing might help. However, I do think it is important to see a doctor so that you can know if it is or isn't anything more medical.
I hope this was somewhat helpful to you. Please feel free to write back if we can help you any further.
Take care and be well.
Larry Siegel
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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