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Question:
hi. i've been very close with my new boyfreind and we've been talking about sex and all that good stuff. but i know oral sex was talked about. and i know it's bound to happen, and i'm not against it. on me that is (i'm a female). i refuse to give guys oral sex, ever since i can remember. but i'm embarssed that i'm going to smell bad down there, or something along the lines of that, so can someone tell me what to do, so that i'm not as embarressed?
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Answer:
by Megan Andelloux: (03/31/2005)
Ok Darlin...Take a deep breathe and relax!
First let me apologize to you for the delay in my response, but rest assure that your vagina does not smell bad or gross because it is the cleanest spot on the human body!! (UNLESS you have an infection, which you should get yearly once you start sexing it up, cause you could have an infection and not even know it!)
Your vag, well, think of it as a self-cleaning oven. Most vagina's have a musky, earthy type of smell to them and taste like plain yogurt -- (go eat some and you'll fiqure out that vaginal secretions don't taste yucky! In fact, lots of people LLLOVE plain yogart!) The smell and taste will change throughout the month, due to where you are in your menstrual cycle. You'll develop a stronger, muskier odor (that you may notice yourself) and taste when you are at your most likely time to get pregnant. Science has also shown that this is when men find women to be their most attractive and desirable. So, don't ever believe that you need feminine hygenie spray, douches, scented pantyliners/tampons or special soap to wash yourself with. Believe me, if women were supposed to smell like lavendar fields, we would have a field of lavendar growing between our legs, but we don't, so deal and love what you got!
Also, on a side note, the stuff that you see at the bottom of your underwear at the end of the day is all the stuff that could have harmed you, but your vagina/cervix pushed it out. Yeah!!
If you can find a book called "Femalia" buy it! It shows people how different vulva's look (the vulva is everything you see on the outside of a women in between her legs. The vagina is actually inside the body, you can only see the vaginal opening. Calling all of your vulva your vagina would be like calling a man's penis his scrotum-it's wrong.
A lot of women feel like they are deformed or look weird but the variations are HUGE. Think of it like this-
"vulva's are like snowflakes, no two are alike".
Porn does not accurately reflect what people's genitals look like, but any of the following does show you the immense differences women hold
The Cunt Coloring Book
Femalia
A New view of a Woman's Body
Anything by Betty Dodson
The Guide to Getting it On! Fabulous and will guide you through oral sex and every other thing you can think of.
In fact, I would recommend this book to you-It's like the sex world's bible. It's huge -- 200, fun pictures, fun chapter titles, slang dictionary in the back and talks about EVERYTHING. Order it -- it's amazing.
And, if you don't want to give head, that is your choice. No one should ever tell you or make you do something you don't want to do. If they do, it's rape. Yes, you can be orally raped and it can be just as troublesome for those that have had it happen to them as those who have been vaginally or anally raped.
So, as long as you set your boundaries clear, communicate with your partner like you've been doing and continue to be up front with what you are willing to try or not try, you're on your way to a great sex life! Enjoy yourself!
Megan AndellouxReviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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