You say you want an answer that isn't wishy washy, so I will say this. Judging from your description of your size, you are absolutely in the normal range of penis sizes. You are not huge, but you are definitely not tiny either. In fact, you are right around the mean for penis size in the US, if I recall correctly.

Now, that being said, it sounds as if you are not having the best of luck with sex partners. There could be a number of reasons your penis slips out easily. You may be too small for that particular woman, or she may be too large for you (vaginas come in different sizes, too). She may be so lubricated that it is easier for you to slip out. It may be that if you are using condoms, they are contributing to the problem. (This is NOT an excuse not to use condoms--safe sex is very important--but perhaps you can try other brands to see if you have any luck with different types.)

It also may have to do with technique or position. If you draw way back while thrusting, it seems likely that you will slip out more easily. If you have sex slowly and carefully at first, perhaps you can find a rhythm that fits you. One thing that you should keep in mind is that if you DO accidentally slip out, you should try to keep yourself from trying to push back in quickly. Sometimes when that happens, you will hit your partner's perinium, the space between her vagina and anus, and that hurts a lot. Just ease back in and start again rather than acting like it didn't happen.

You said not to tell you that "it doesn't matter if you're small" or anything like that, but I feel that I wouldn't be doing my job as a sex educator if I didn't add that penis-vagina sex is not the end-all-be-all of sex. It is one component of a healthy sex life for heterosexuals, but it is not necessarily the only way to give your partner pleasure. And, ultimately, pleasure and fun are an important part of a good sexual relationship.

Good luck, Blaise

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team