Register to join our community
|
|
Question:
There’s a lack of sex and bad communication in a monagomous relationship im in. Seven days ago I received unprotected oral sex (a blow job) from a woman I don't know and intercourse with a condom. I believe she may have had many sexual partners and I am concerned. When I asked her why she was doing this without a condom she said she didn't have herpes and didn't think I did. What test should I consider taking at this point? I feel horrible right now. I'm very scared and having trouble sleeping. I'm considering counseling.
|
Answer:
by Georgan Gregg: (06/05/2004)
I’m very glad to read that you are considering going to counseling. This is the perfect opportunity to begin feeling better, learn communication & decision-making skills, & ease your mind about the sexual encounter outside your relationship. I’ll be happy to explain how to choose your testing options. More importantly, will be information to begin feeling better emotional about everything that’s going on.
Since HIV is what most people are concerned with I’ll begin with that. A blowjob can pass on HIV if no barrier is used. The urethra & penis are mucous membrane, which allows HIV to enter the blood stream & cause infection. Saliva is not considered to be a transmitter of the virus that leads to AIDS, however, blood in the saliva (from dental work, flossing, or the like) definitely can pass on HIV. There must be visible blood in her mouth for HIV to be transmittable. You seem to be at low risk for getting HIV.
The risk of getting herpes from a blowjob requires some explanation. Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1 (HSV 1) usually shows up as what most of us call cold sores or fever blisters on the lips, face and mouth, while HSV 2 is usually below the waist. There is some crossover. Whether the HSV is type 1 or 2, it's still called genital herpes if the lesion is on the genitals & oral herpes if on the face. Although herpes can be a serious health issue, most only experience discomfort and annoyance. There are additional STD that can be passed orally & some that can be transmitted by intercourse even with a condom, including herpes. The likelihood of infection is low, if you had only the one encounter, but still a real risk, since it only takes one time to become infected.
You can go to http://www.ashastd.org/stdfaqs/index.html & read about all the various STD to decide for yourself which of them, if any, you want to be tested for. Or phone the CDC National STD Hotline at (800) 227-8922 or (800) 342-2437, 24 hours per day, seven days a week. You can ask anonymous questions of trained information specialists & even get referrals for testing.
Your “monogamous” relationship will not improve until you do some soul searching & emotional work on yourself, so that you can approach your partner in a healthy, positive manner. An accredited sex counselor can help you learn direct, clear, caring communication that will facilitate improving your sexual relationship. Ideally, both of you can enter counseling to work through your issues together. However, it’s fine to begin by yourself. You can search http://aasect.org/directory.cfm to find a qualified sex counselor or therapist nearby.
I hope this information has helped you feel better by having a plan to deal with each concern. You seem to have discovered that sidestepping your relationship problems by having sex without feeling secure that it’s healthy only makes your life more complicated. You’ve taken a vital first step by asking important questions. Don’t hesitate to get in touch with us again.
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
|
This question appears in the following topics:
|
|
|
|
