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Question:
Hi Aline,
I'm not sure if you are the right person to ask, or even if I'm asking the right question, but I have been dating my girlfriend now for over a year now and we both need an answer to a pressing concern. I have an extremely high sex drive, bordering on compulsive and I react negatively when my partner rejects sex. We both love each other, but she does not enjoy sexual intercourse. I guess the problem is twofold although perhaps interrelated:
1) Why does my girlfriend have such a low desire for sexual intercourse (she could do without it completely)?
2) Why can't she reach orgasm through intercourse (she claims to have no feeling inside her virgina)?
She can reach orgasm through oral sex, but she complains that this leaves her feeling frustrated. I am well endowed and I don't have a problem with intimacy or sexual stamina. What is the problem here? Please help if you can, or forward my question to your other experts. I appreciate your help.
Sincerely,
Anonymous
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Answer:
by Aline Zoldbrod: (05/29/2004)
There are lots of reasons why your girlfriend may not be interested in sex--Your guess that she feels guilty because she isn't married to you is a good possibility. However, if she is motivated to learn to enjoy being sexual more, the best thing to do would be to get to an AASECT-certified sex therapist. The therapist could do a full assessment of the problem and begin treatment for the two of you. If your girlfriend actually doesn't WANT to enjoy sex more, then you need to explore that first, and it would be easier to do it in sex therapy than it would be to try to discuss it on your own.
You can find a sextherapist through www.aasect.org.Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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