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Question:
My question is as follows:
I am an eight-teen year old male, in good health, and I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year now. We've been sexually active for about five months now, and during actual vaginal intercourse, she rarely, if it all, has an orgasm. Now, I know she cums through oral and manual stimulation to her clitoris, however we've been trying to have her reach one through vaginal intercourse. I also know that we should enjoy our experiences with orgasm not being the main goal, however, when it never happens, it is a bit difficult. We still love each other and there are no problems in the relationship, however, once we have sex, I know when we're done, at least I'm thinking and wishing she could experience it as much as I do. So, is there any way to have her reach orgasm besides direct clitoral stimulation with fingers or sex toy?
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Answer:
by Megan Andelloux: (10/23/2005)
Alright honey, let's put some thigs in perspective so you can have a healthier, less stressful, sex life. This sentence is going to sum up my whole answer. 80% of women do not experience orgasm during penetration without DIRECT CLITORAL stimulation. So, your girl is not anorgasmic because she is having orgasms with you, just not as often or when you would like them. So, take pride in the fact that she is cumming with you and that you care so much about her that you want her to experience all the pleasures she can.
So what can you do to make her more likely to come during sex without you having to stimulate her? Two options: 1) have her masturbate herself as you are in her. Not only is it hot to watch, but it also will dramatically increase her chances of coming if she stimulates herself as she knows what type of touch will get her off.
The other option is to buy a vibrator that sits on top of the shaft of your penis that will give her clitoral stimulation if you are in any type of missionary position (which is usually the most difficult position for a woman to have an orgasm in without any direct stimulation to the clitoris). The Utophia is a good type of vibe, The couple's Impulse is another good one to try. There is a new line of condoms being marketed to women called ELECXA in the condom aisle of drugstores and they sell a condom that has a vibrator that sits on the top of the shaft of the penis. Now, it's expensive, a one time use toy that lasts for only 20 minutes and it's ten dollars, but you could try it out. The Utophia is 20.00 and lasts a loooot longer than 20 minutes.
So, relax about her not cumming while in her, try out the 2 things I suggested, and why not try to give her oral after a couple of minutes penetrating her with your penis? I call it the Dip, Dip, Lick and it works wonders. Just cause your penis goes in doesn't mean it has to stay in until you come. And, one last thing, it generally takes men 2 minutes to reach orgasm once they have penetrated their partner and it usually takes 10-20 minutes for a woman to reach orgasm once her partner has entered her. So, the "dip, dip, lick" will expand your time, making you last longer and her come quicker.
Good Luck and enjoy the practice! Thanks for writing in!
MeganReviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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