I doubt also if it is anything psychological either, though just the fact that you are worrying about it some means that you could be thinking about it enough to just not get there.

Actually, having an orgasm can happen at any time and much of it is getting the right amount of touch in the right positions at just the right time. You certainly don't need to wait until you are 30, and since you know about having orgasms from when you were younger, you know you can have them and quite easily.

I think that you really need to consider how you and your boyfriend are stimulating you. Often people try to have an orgasm through intercourse, and though the romance novels have all women having mutual orgasms with a partner during intercourse, that really doesn't happen that often until a couple really works together on this.

Most women have orgasm by the touching of the mouth, hands or body on the clitoris or something that pulls the clitoris. Intercourse only in certain positions does that. When a woman lies on her back and her partner is on top of her, he rarely is stimulating the clitoris in a way that will really give her an orgasm.

My suggestion is for you to try to get other ways for him to touch you, finger you, position yourself differently so he can actually touch the clitoris in ways that really stimulate you. You said that what you are doing really feels good, so just explore more in that direction. When something is going well try to get more of it.

I don't think you need to masturbate yourself to teach yourself how to orgasm. Masturbation when solitary isn't at all like intercourse. Tell your boyfriend that you have heard that there are ways to really have big orgasms for women (and you can say that you have had little ones) and that you want to experiment with different positions, touching, etc. Then show him some of the things while you are having sex play together. One of the biggest misconceptions is that couples just know how to have sex and that a man just automatically can stimulate a woman. This just isn't true and why some women may be 30 before they get assertive enough to teach him what feels good and doesn't just involve intercourse. Intercourse often feels better to the man than a woman, at least for stimulation of orgasm.

I hope this helps some, and feel free to write back and ask more questions as you experiment with him. You may want to get some books on various ways to stimulate orgasms. You will often see that it isn't through intercourse, at least all the time.

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team