Answer:
by Patricia Fawver: (03/16/2005)
If I understand you correctly, your girlfriend feels like when she is getting close to orgasm, her genitals go numb and she is not able to climax. Usually when the genitals go numb, on males or females, it is simply an indication that the stimulation needs to be changed. The female clitoris is an extremely sensitive organ. It can easily get overstimulated by having too much pressure, friction, direct stimulation, etc. When this happens, I would suggest that you try varying the type of stimulation.
It sounds like your girlfriend is reaching a high level of arousal, but is just having problems getting over the edge. If it's intercourse you're having when this occurs, I would suggest that you slow down and maybe even stop the thrusting. Just leave your penis inside of her vagina and hold still for a few moments and let the sensation of numbness die down. Then, while holding still inside her, she can stimulate her clitoral area with her hand, a vibrator, or even the head of your penis.
Lubrication may also be an issue here. Is there enough wetness present on her genitals? Numbness can certainly happen if the stimulation is too intense or too dry. Also, what happens for her during masturbation? Does she experience the numbness when she is stimulating herself? Is she able to climax through self stimulation? Another possibility would be to switch to oral sex at that point. When numbness occurs, a gentle, wet, kissing of the genitals can provide not only the change in stimulation I've been talking about, but also a way for her to possibly reach orgasm.
One last thing - you mentioned her 'wigglyness'. It would be good to know why she is wiggling. There are several different possibilities here. Is she wiggling because the stimulation is uncomfortable and she is trying to position her body in a way that feels better? Is she wiggling to try and get the numbness to go away? Is she wiggling because that contributes to her level of arousal? For many women it is important to move their bodies during sex -- this increases their arousal. Your girlfriend may be literally wiggling her way to an orgasm. For other women, it is important to hold still. Everyone is different in this regard. I would suggest you have an open, honest conversation about all of this with your girlfriend. She will probably be able to tell you more about what is going on with her body and sexual response. Listen to what she has to say and have fun experimenting with different positions, types of stimulation, and ways of making love. And don't forget -- numbness is usually just a sign that something needs to change -- so pay attention to your body's signals, adjust accordingly, and follow the path to increased pleasure. Good luck and let me know if you need any further help. Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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