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Question:
I want to know if there is a way to have sex during my period so that my boyfriend doesn't have to get all bloody and gross. Can I douche and then is there a way to suppress beeding for a bit or can I use some sort of female condom or what might I do? Another , question is ... I ofte bleed after I have sex. I am 18 and have had sex about 5 times. Also his penis is very large and when he pushes it all the way in, it hurts as he hits my cervix. I also get bad rubs from him being so large and because of this and I believe other reasons as well, I am unable to achieve an orgasm.
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Answer:
by Larry Siegel: (06/24/2004)
Hi and I'm glad you took the time to write in. You put out several interesting points of concern so I'll try to address them individually.
As far as having sex during your period so he "doesn't have to get all bloody and gross," (what about you??), I would strongly recommend that he wear a condom. Afterward, he can just peel it off and throw it away. I also believe it's a nice idea to keep a warm, wet towel nearby so you both can wipe up a bit. Hey, whether it's red or not, sex can always get a bit messy... It's also a good option to try the female condom. It will definitely prevent him from coming in contact with your menstrual fluid. Douching beforehand might be a possibility (a very light solution) but it wouldn't be highly recommended. I definitely would NOT recommend putting anything inside yourself to try to "suppress bleeding," especially considering your other concerns.
AS far as you bleeding after sex, this is something that you might consider going to your doctor or a family planning clinic, like Planned Parenthood, for. While many young women have complained about that after their first few intercourse experiences, it would be a good idea to get a check up. In general, I believe young women should start having regular gynecological exams when they become sexually active (this includes std/i testing). It's the best way to be truly responsible for your body.
There's a good chance that your boyfriend's penis might be chaffing you inside as well. The 2 main things that may be happening are that you are not sufficiently lubricated to accommodate the size of his penis and he might be going to fast or thrusting too hard. Try spending more time in foreplay; do things that will really turn you on so that your vagina gets really wet and lubricated. Then, guide him to enter you slowly and gently. Let his thrusting be slow and gentle as well. There's a good chance he won't be hitting your cervix so hard. Also, try different positions, particulary with you on top. That way, you can control the way his penis penetrates you.
I believe that the most important thing you should be able to do with your partner is talk about all this. Talk about what methods of protection are best for the 2 of you, what you like about sex, what you don't like... Does he know that you are experiencing such pain when you have sex? These are all things that should be talked about. Personally, I have a general rule: if you can't talk about these things with your partner, perhaps he's not the one to be doing them with.
I do want to emphasize, though, that getting yourself checked by a doctor or clinic will be a good move. It will happen inevitably, so why not start getting used to it...
I hope this was of some help to you. It sounds like there's a whole lot more stuff going on so please feel free to write in with more questions or concerns.
I wish you much luck and success. Be well.
Larry SiegelReviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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