Question:
I've read every single question in your archive, but I still can't find the peace of mind I need to stop obsessing. I think I am absolutely driving my boyfriend up the wall and I'm making myself sick. He stayed at my house for Thanksgiving because he's going to college far from home and couldn't get to his house for vacation. He and I are both virgins and very inexperienced.
We were having oral sex, and I saw the pre-cum on the tip of his penis and licked it off, so I know for a fact that most of it was gone. Well, a few minutes later, we both got naked and he was putting his penis near my vagina and kind of rubbing my clit with it. He didn't put it in, though, and he had an orgasm in a separate location not near my vagina. He hadn't had an orgasm that day, and he had urinated previous to our "sexual explorations." ;) I'm a few days late (probably due to the fact that I have a cold and I'm stressing myself out.) So, honestly, what are the odds that I'm pregnant? My dad's a preacher, I'm in the top ten of my class, and my friends would all look down on me, too. This can't happen, and I'm sure it's not, but that doesn't mean I'm not driving myself and my boyfriend insane in the mean time. I just want someone who knows what they're talking about to reassure me, I guess.
Even if you've stopped answering questions, thank you for all of the questions you've answered previous to this. I know you must get frustrated at our lack of knowledge, but I think it's awesome people care enough to do that for free. What goes around comes around.
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Answer:
by Konstance McCaffree: (05/27/2004)
WEll, I haven't stopped answering questions. I'm just a little bogged down by the holidays and all that I have to do. By the time you read this your period will probably have come and you won't be as worried any more.
I really can't tell you for sure what the odds are but they certainly aren't very high. There is just not as much risk in what you describe as there would be if the ejaculation had taken place at the opening to the vagina. The small amount of semen that might be on the tip rubbing on your clitoris is not putting you much at risk.
Since you are very worried, I would suggest that if you are going to continue to enjoy each other as you described here (and I urge you to, since you're learning wonderful ways to stimulate each other and enjoy pleasure) you might have your partner wear a latex condom anytime the penis is going to touch in the area of your vaginal opening. Condoms don't have to be for intercourse only, and can be a helpful barrier.
What you did do wasn't that risky, but any time the end of the penis touches that close to the opening there is a small risk, and I wouldn't want you to keep worrying about it so much. It takes so much of the pleasure you are both having away.
Thanks for writing, and be sure to feel free to write again if you have questions.Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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